What I’ve Always Wanted to Do

I recently got a job as as writing center tutor at a local university. It’s been amazing and the people I work with remind me a bit of the Hollins Ch.Lit. MFA community, always sparking the most lively and interesting topics of conversation. Yesterday, I was talking to one of my co-tutors, and she’s a full-time freelancer writer, working on her own creative endeavors, tutoring and blogging for pay. She said something that really stuck out at me:

This is what I’ve always wanted to do.

It made me smile, because, as unglamorous as it is juggling two or three different gigs to pay the bills, it’s fabulous to be able to say that one is doing exactly what fulfills his or her dreams. I realized that although I don’t have a 9-5 or a company-sponsored 401K, I get up in the morning and can say that I am living the dream.

I have time to work on my own creative goals. I get to exercise my critical skills and educational muscles on a daily basis. I set my own schedule. I have time to spend with family and at church. I work with students from elementary through undergrad, which, I have to say, builds material for future writing projects. I have time to read and stay connected with what’s on bookstore shelves today. I have time to take care of myself, from working out to cooking healthy to keeping my living space neat and tidy. I have time to keep in touch with my friends from out of state.

I am so grateful for this phase of my life. I know it will shift. I know one day publishing deadlines and other responsibilities will start to infringe on some of the freedoms. But for now, I’m enjoying every moment.

This week has been a bit sad for me. My heart has felt heavy and broken. Taking the time to reflect on all of the blessings that fill my life has been like salve on a wound. Trying to keep things in perspective.

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